Secrets not only make people sick, they keep them sick and keep them stuck. One of the goals of my work as a self-healing mentor for those who struggle with compulsive hair pulling and other debilitating compulsive behaviors is to help my students recognize the harm of keeping secrets from themselves, from others and the harm of secrets which have been kept from themby others.

When trying to end trichotillomania, sometimes the healing process offers us the opportunity to walk through an invisible door into our future. The only problem is that by walking through this door it closes, even locks behind us. We cannot go back to the safety of the past. The future lies ahead, its path uncharted. There may be vast waves of grief and anger over what has been left behind. There may be fear or disorientation. We must regain our equilibrium. We may not remember the moment we made the choice to go through the doorway into greater freedom or why we chose it. But choose it we did and now we must continue forward into our healing, into a more expanded life.

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“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke

One of the most difficult things that my hair pulling students struggle with while learning to heal themselves is maintaining a patient openness in the face of the questions that arise when working toward freedom and wholeness. But it is crucial to do so. We cannot rush the journey, it has a life and a mind of its own. But here is one question that can be put to rest. However your journey unfolds it is exactly perfect for you. You are right where you need to be for your next level of healing to find you.

“All things are permeated by a power which makes for health. A human being can relate himself to this power, and ally himself with it. He can also separate himself from it in his thoughts.”
-Wallace Wattles

Healing is a natural system (like a internal weather system) that exists inside of us. We are always being invited to heal one thing or another. But most often we (especially those who struggle with addictive and compulsive behaviors like compulsive hair pulling) run from the opportunity. The next time you feel a challenging moment in your life, why not ask yourself if this is your own invitation to heal that has come calling. Then run toward and embrace it for all that you’re worth. Who knows, you might just come out the other side a whole lot lighter and whole.

A “No” uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a “Yes” merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
-Mahatma Gandhi

One of the things that we learn when healing a compulsive behavior is to get really honest with ourselves and others. We learn to state the truth and to more effectively set boundaries. Why? Because to do less than this is to continue to abuse ourselves. There is no healing and freedom from compulsive behavior without standing up for ourselves!