Here is an excerpt from the article:

Most hair pullers are bright, insightful, highly sensitive and intuitive souls constantly straddling two worlds; the world of a functioning, successful individual and the secret world of their seemingly never-ending urges to pull “just one more hair”. The extraordinarily successful businesswoman may be negotiating a multi-million dollar deal with you while her mind is split between what you’re seeing and the inner realm of her urges. She wants to sit on her hands to keep them from reaching to her head. She wants to force herself to stop her crazy desires, but she’s unable.

The vast majority are female children and adults; often hiding behind makeup, wigs, weaves, hats and false eyelashes. They love to pull and hate it all at the same time. The sensations associated with hair pulling feel great to a hair puller but the aftereffects wreak havoc on their self-esteem and ultimately sever them from themselves, harshly damaging their self-relationship.

Relentless habits like hair pulling are self-harming addictions and like all bad habits, compulsions and addictions, on some level they help the sufferer to better tolerate his or her unconscious inner conflicts.

Abby also provides eight great tips on helping you with your compulsive hair-pulling.

Check it out today!

Chances are, if you’re like any one of us who has stopped hair pulling and ended their struggle with trichotillomania, you never understood why you started pulling. Don’t you owe it to yourself to finally understand why you pull and how to heal it?

Many hair pullers feel they are alone and do not know where or who to reach out to because they are ashamed. You are not alone. You can stop hair pulling.

But you really need to want to?

In this second segment, Abby discusses:

1. How did I turn a corner and begin working on my hair pulling
2. How I came upon the healing system I now teach
3. How I teach people to heal and how I healed myself
4. How I finally stopped searching for someone else to heal me.

In this first segment, Abby discusses:

1. What hair pulling feels like and how it becomes addictive.
2. When did I know I was a hair puller and why does it serve a need.

My students often share that before they found my TrichotillomaniaFree Women’s University online program, they did not have a way to uncover or express their truths.

Through years of counseling, willpower, anti-depressants and anxiety drugs, Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT, EMDR, special diets, supplements, taping their fingers …through both conventional and alternative treatments, ignoring the problem and even religious or spiritual approaches to stopping trichotillomania, these truths sat silently waiting for the day when my students could finally express their inner experiences.

At last, these are their words…words they were never before able to tell themselves, let alone tell you.

From an 18 year-old student…

“I got very emotional as I always do with my dad. He told me to get my emotional crap together, threatened to take away my car and all kinds of other privileges, all because I was crying. It became clear to me that this putting down of my emotions needed to stop, or I would stop trying to have a relationship with him.

“He acts as if there is something wrong with having emotions, saying problems are never resolved by crying. So through my crying, I finally told him exactly what had made me angry and hurt. I told him there is nothing wrong with my emotional side and I needed him to accept and love EVERY part of me.

“And this is my next truth that I have known, but it really became real to me then. I finally acknowledged what I have always known. I told my dad that ever since I was five and started pulling, I knew that he hated my trich. I told him that I feel that if I were to pull out every single hair on my head, he would not love me. I told him that my trich is a blessing that it has kept me from doing even worse. It was there for me when he never was.

“There were many times when I wanted to die. I told him that I used to stare at knives in our kitchen and wonder what it would be like to die. I wanted to pick up that knife, and I was only five years old. Trich saved me from acting on any of my thoughts. It pulled me through the worst times. My truth is that trich saved my life and I love it for that.

“I feel as if there are expectations I have to meet in order to have my dad’s full respect and love. I have always felt this way. I tried to explain that is why I get so upset when I confront him, because I feel as if I am letting him down when I feel. But there is nothing wrong with feeling intensely, especially when it comes to loved ones. And I am not going to let my dad guilt me into thinking there is something wrong with me because there isn’t.

“I laid it all out. I stayed strong and didn’t let his responses throw me off from making my point. I claimed my power. It was a relief to finally verbalize how I have been feeling for my whole life. This was HUGE for me. I feel as if all my work in TrichotillomaniaFree Women’s University led me to this point that I could finally stand for myself.”

~~~

And a few others discuss their compulsive hair pulling:

“I realize more and more that I pull when I try to override my own instincts, and I pull for feeling so inadequate so often, and I pull as a way of punishing myself for not living up to a whole host of often contradictory ideals- as if I am wrong no matter what I do.”

~~~

“Finally seeing trich as an addiction gave me the power to take responsibility and work to end it. Before, I just thought I was crazy and that my purpose in life was to suffer. I believed that my upbringing left me no choice but to find this way to self-medicate. I’m glad to learn I am strong and capable and can find my way to freedom.

“I realized that pulling is equivalent to love for me, meaning I pull when I need love. The funny thing is that deep inside I came to believe that expressing my love is a way that I might hurt other people that I care about. So in order to avoid hurting others it’s as if I try to keep myself away from them. It’s like I need love but I think I don’t deserve it. So by pulling I feel ugly and ashamed, and it’s keeping me isolated in my pain and causing me to feel less loved. It’s complicated because the only thing I do need is love but I punish myself in a way just because I don’t want to hurt anybody else. It’s a vicious cycle that I need to break.”

~~~

Are you beginning to understand how your own hair pulling began and how it solved so many problems back when you began to pull?  Are you beginning to see just why ending trich can be so challenging?

To let go of hair pulling, stop trichotillomania and end trichotillomania, for good, you must:

• First, gain insight about the powerful though painful way you found to cope with life. You needed trich to help you when you didn’t have the means or reserves to move forward in a healthier way.
• Next, you must come to believe that freedom is possible for YOU. Don’t follow in the mental footsteps of ”J” who just replied to my email with, “Thank you!…but it will never end for me!”  Actually, she’s right. It will never end for her until she can believe that it will, because until then she will never take the needed actions to make freedom happen for her.

It is time to take yourself off auto-pilot and take a fresh look around you. You may not realize it yet, but in this moment you likely have the conviction and inner strength to take on the job of getting free. Don’t wait another day or another month. Take action today to find your way out of the painful hair pulling cycle!

There’s no conversation about how to live with trichotillomania for the long-haul. Because for our students that not even an option.

Ever wondered what real support looks like?  Here’s a snippet–only the names have been changed to protect our students’ privacy:

Dear Abby,

I’m writing you this because I feel like I need some reassurance. You see I was online at the university for a few days and I can’t help but be frightened. I want to so badly to stop pulling my hair out but every time I look at the university I get scared. I don’t know why it almost makes me think that I’m scared to live without pulling my hair out. It’s almost as if you’re taking away my security blanket or taking away a table leg and I’m afraid to fall. I’m afraid to be alone all over again because I don’t have anyone here to support me in my decision. I’m afraid that if my secret comes out that people will judge me as people always have and think that I’m a freak and not love me anymore or think of me differently. Did you ever get terrified when you tried to stop pulling?

Trish

Hi Trish,

I hope you will take this whole email and post it in the University so that you can see just how NOT ALONE you are! Ending hair pulling IS terrifying. No one will ever dispute that. It’s the only solid ground many hair pullers have known. So here’s my suggestion–stay in the University and just take your time. Go at your own pace. Get used to everything, the tone and the other women. But DON’T hide out all alone. Decide that you will participate even when you’re scared. It’s the only way for you to finally get the support to heal. Gather up your courage and join us! You have ALOT to offer to the group and we have ALOT to offer you! Many women in this group have been through trauma and abuse and learned how to heal it. It’s your turn AND you can go at your own pace. Come and find out what true support feels like.

Warmly,

Abby Rohrer
Former Hair Puller, healed since 1994

Dear Trish,

HELLO and WELCOME! Thank you for your courage to post your email and to let us know that you are here! How GREAT to have you!

Trish wrote: “I don’t have anyone here to support me in my decision. “

Now you do — you are no longer alone! I don’t know the exact number of the students in the University right now but I know there are many, many of us and we all support and love one another…

“Trish wrote: Did you ever get terrified when you tried to stop pulling?”

Oh yes, numerous times…
As you will soon find out we all have a lot in common and it is not just our hair pulling…

Just a few traits that I believe we all have (including you!) — we are wonderful, courageous, determined, caring, loving and AMAZING group of women who support one another on this journey towards WHOLENESS, HEALING and FREEDOM…!!!

I’m happy you joined us and am looking forward to getting to know you better.

Love,

Kara

Trish!

Trish wrote: “It almost makes me think that I’m scared to live without pulling my hair out.”

Most of us have or still do feel exactly the same way!

Trish wrote: “Its almost as if your taking away my security blanket or taking away a table leg and I’m afraid to fall.”

It IS that way. Hair-pulling is the one thing that has ALWAYS been there for you, right? Your statement resonates with all of us!

Trish wrote: “I’m afraid to be alone all over again because I don’t have anyone here to support me in my decision.”

I felt exactly the same way!! If you stay in this program and join in the University YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN. Before joining this program I had NO ONE to turn to or support me. Now I am part of a WONDERFUL family of women who are ALWAYS there.

Trish wrote: “I’m afraid that if my secret comes out that people will judge me as people always have and think that I’m a freak and not love me anymore or think of me differently.”

Yes, I felt the same way! No one outside this group needs to know about your secret until it is the right time FOR YOU to tell them. You will NEVER find any judgment here.

Trish wrote: “He thinks that I can just stop whenever I want to”

We have all heard that comment! You already know that is not a true statement, right? Otherwise, you would have stopped by now.

Trish wrote: “Did you ever get terrified when you tried to stop pulling?”

YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!!! I was terrified to start this program. TERRIFIED!! I sat with Abby’s book for a whole year before even opening it. I was terrified!

Paula

Trish,

It took a lot of courage for you to follow Abby’s advice and post your email here on the forum. I congratulate you for that. This is your first step towards your healing. We all understand your fear. We have all been there. This University is a very SAFE HAVEN for you and the BEST place for you to be. Like Kara said, you will be amazed at how much you have in common with all of us.

Continue to be courageous! We are all here to support you. Take baby steps and work at your own pace. Abby has done a great thing providing this forum for us. YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN! Please believe that.

I’m so happy to meet you, WECLOME to the program, and I look forward to know you better.

Much Love,

Pat

Dear Trish,

Welcome!

Kara and Paula said it so well. Most of us have had all of these same feelings. Freedom is in expressing your own true inner self, and that is what we are learning. So welcome and don’t ever give up! Good for you, just keep taking those baby steps. Glad you had the courage to begin and tell us your thoughts. You no longer are alone.

Love,

Kathy

Hi Trish! WELCOME!! I second what everyone else said. You are very courageous to post your email and that is a big step for you! The University, all the posts and the lessons can be a little overwhelming at first; I felt the same way. Just take it one step at a time. Just take your time and learn your way around. Each time you do a lesson you will feel more confidence to do the next one. Listen to the audios – they are very important!

And as others have mentioned, we have all felt scared to give up the security and comfort of pulling. But instead of taking away a table leg (I like that analogy!) by the end of the program, trust me, you will end up feeling whole again. Along the journey you will find pieces of yourself that you didn’t even know were missing. You will find your real inner self and when you get there you won’t even remember why you needed to pull! We are all here for you and will help you every step of the way!

Hugs,

Jen

The Trichotillomania study has received lots of press, but many hair pullers are wondering why. In some participants, high doses of N-Acetylcysteine lowered high-moderate hair pulling to low-moderate hair pulling, but did not stop it, nor did it improve their quality of life.

N-Acetylcysteine is made from chicken feathers, pig bristles and human hair consequently it may have some homeopathic influence but the smell, taste and lingering-effects of this amino acid might cause some hair pullers to resist trying it. N-Acetylcysteine reportedly smells like a combination of garlic and sulfur.

On a more serious note, N-Acetylcysteine comes with a warning bell from the University of Virginia. Taking this amino acid may lead to pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH), a serious condition producing high blood pressure in arteries leading to the lungs.

Please see my full article at: N-Acetylcysteine and Trichotillomania

Can you solve any problem without focusing exclusively on it for at least one minute?

Remember that to fix any problem you must be willing to totally focus on it for the time that it takes to solve it.  I learned that to fix my problem, I had to be willing to focus on it-not just to make it a priority in my life, but to make it THE PRIORITY in my life.

Have you ever been willing to focus directly on your trichotillomania and make healing it THE PRIORITY in your life?

You may fear that if you focus directly on it, your hair pulling will worsen and you are unwilling to take this risk.  This fear is justified, but to heal you must be willing to move through this worsening state.

As I began to focus on it, my trichotillomania did temporarily increase.  As I continued to “front-burner” my problem, I found that I was strong enough to deal with this temporary worsening to reap the greater rewards of complete and total freedom.

To solve any problem you must go beyond your comfort zone and focus on it.  You must start to feel!