Child with Trich? Here’s How You Can Help
Parent Tip: The most powerful way to help your child is to model healthy expression and handling of your own emotions.
Many hair pullers struggle with intense anxiety and many believe that this anxiety is the cause of trichotillomania. However, my advanced students and I disagree. We found that trichotillomania was less the cause of our anxiety, but used by the hair puller as a tool to dampen anxiety.
Chronic anxiety is the result of unfinished emotions. My mom was a chronic worrier and I was trained from an early age to take up the cause, which I did well. When I finally began to own and complete my own feelings, my anxiety plummeted. This is the most effective way to end anxiety! We are proving this within my Women’s Unversity where students are reporting a reduction in anxiety of 50% or more!
As a parent, the more you take ownership and allow your own feelings, the more you will reduce your own anxiety levels and help your child to do the same. This will assist everyone in your family to own their own inner experience.
April 21st, 2011 at 12:07 pm
I have a daughter who is now almost 13 and has been pulling on and off since age 7. There are so many dynamics here that I could address, and she and I definately “fit the bill” for the characteristics of a puller and her family dynamics! I am in counseling myself to help my own anxiety but I am wanting to help her too! I want the best way to help her accept herself and find happiness. I also struggle with the day to day stuff, not just the larger picture which I mostly focus on. However day to day stuff, she is starting to wear thick black eyeliner to hide that she has no lashes. Normally I would not “allow” this as she is not old enough. I have tried to offer her help in colors that would be appropriate etc and offered to take her to a makeup artist for help too but she is not interested. Do I do as I normally would, and did with her older sister and teach appropriate use of makeup, or do I allow this because of the reasons why she is doing it. She gets very emotional when I try to talk to her about it or try to say she can’t wear it. I need suggestions for this as I am starting to second guess myself on all these little day to day issues and don’t want to “traumatize” or do the wrong thing!!!!! Is there a treatment program not just in a book for her?
April 21st, 2011 at 10:34 pm
I will be 58 on July 4th, and I’ve had Trichorillomania since I was a teenager
August 7th, 2011 at 1:57 pm
I’m working hard to find more ways to help all hair pullers to heal, and especially children and teenagers with trichotillomania.
I can understand why she gets emotional and why she doesn’t want you to take her anywhere for professional assistance. Going to a professional means having to deal with that person’s reaction to your daughter’s hair pulling.
Why don’t you write her a note and tell her that you won’t push her but would she be willing to allow you to spend an hour or two experimenting with makeup to find the best possible look for her. At the same time, promise her that you won’t say one word about her hair pulling and you won’t push her to adopt the look you like best.