Trichotillomania: The Inside-Outs of Compulsive Hair Pulling

I recently read this from a practitioner who treats trichotillomania sufferers,

“It is not necessary for you to find or know the cause of your hair pulling.”

Whoa! While this sounds good on the surface, there’s a big problem with it.

Also, if you don’t learn the cause of your pulling, how can you be sure that the problem is solved and you will never pull again? You’ll always be powerless with your trichotillomania and with those whom you rely on to help you stop pulling.

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Here are a few of the characteristics of the compulsive hair pulling child’s perspective on the family:

In childhood, we each felt abandoned and on our own without adequate skills or guidance.  We struggled with, now how to thrive, but truly how even to survive.  Our families were chaotic and volatile.  It was difficult to find any sense of peace.  Other family members became angry or upset if we voiced our own needs.  We learned to keep them to ourselves if we recognized a need at all. Hair pulling was a way for us to deal with the chronic anxiety that came from shoving ourselves aside in this way.

Have you searched relentlessly to find an answer as to why your child pulls her hair out?  Your child may have already endured the associated side effects of many different drugs, behavior therapy sessions and more.  Still, none of it has worked effectively or permanently.

You’re watching years of bald spots, eyebrows or eyelashes come and go.  You’re watching your child struggle and suffer.  You’ve been waiting for medical science to come up with a cure for your child for too long now.

Well, right here, right now, before you try anything else,

I am handing you back your power!

The circumstances of your life, your style of relating to others, your parenting style and your relationship with your spouse/partner has likely contributed to your child’s hair pulling problem.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel.   If you have contributed to your child’s trichotillomania, there is a greal deal that you can do about it.

Toxic Belief:

Merciless judgement and endless guilt are the only way I can stop hair pulling.

Pull-Free, At Last! Antidote:

Because I didn’t understand why I pulled, I mercilessly judged myself for doing it.  Now I know that I had a legitimate reason for pulling.  I am ready to remove my judgment in preparation to release myself for good.

I read an article once that stated that the difference between a “champion” and an ordinary performer was the number of thoughts that each one had during a given day.

The author made a point of stating that the champion’s performance was not based on the content of those thoughts but simply that champions seem to have less thoughts and seem to hold each thought for a longer period of time.

This is an interesting (and controversial) popular notion these days. Is it the “quality” of our thinking that or is it the “quantity” of thoughts that we’re thinking that produces greater results?

How does this relate to your thoughts on hair pulling? Are your thoughts the reason why you pull?

Throughout our lives strain and pressures are imposed on us.  They come in the form of relationship moments that are difficult or make us feel uncomfortable, pressures at school or on the job, family traumas, illness, and more.  Hair pullers often report that it is stress that is the reason for their hair pulling, but this is not true.  It is the way that you perceive and deal with these stresses and what you tell yourself they mean about you that is the problem.

The key to dealing with things or events that cause you stress is not to unnecessarily shield yourself from them, but to be able to remain calm and centered in the face of them.  No one can control life, but hair pulling is a way to attempt to do so.  In other words you’ve become trapped in your own trap; jailed in your own cell.  Now it’s time to release yourself from the cell and to create a safe haven for yourself in the midst of freedom.