Want to know what goes on in TrichotillomaniaFree Women’s University?  A ton! There’s an amazing curriculum, an honest and engaging continuing dialog about the truth of trich and an incredible worldwide support community completely focused on healing.

There’s no conversation about how to live with trichotillomania for the long-haul. Because for our students that not even an option.

Ever wondered what real support looks like?  Here’s a snippet–only the names have been changed to protect our students’ privacy:

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This coming May, I will have been free of Trichotillomania for 16 years without medication, dietary changes, behavior therapy, hypnosis, supplements of any kind, or any outside intervention. After 27 long and painful years, I found the answers within myself. So can you!

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The merciless judgment that you use to control your pulling actually perpetuates your hair pulling.  Surprised?

You are not alone.

Most pullers mistakenly believe that this is what keeps the behavior from going completely out of control.  After 25 years of compulsive hairpulling.  I was not even aware of my mind’s constant judgment of my compulsive behavior.  It was so ingrained, so automatic, that I rarely noticed it going on beneath the surface of my conscious mind.  When I became aware and began to question it, I realized that I had always believed it was this judgment that kept me “in line.”

Toxic Belief:

Merciless judgement and endless guilt are the only way I can stop hair pulling.

Pull-Free, At Last! Antidote:

Because I didn’t understand why I pulled, I mercilessly judged myself for doing it.  Now I know that I had a legitimate reason for pulling.  I am ready to remove my judgment in preparation to release myself for good.

People who feel that they are “different,” “crazy,” “sick, etc., have the tendency (and our society reinforces this) to continually look outside themselves to experts for “real answers.”  The answers are within each of us if we only have the courage to pursue our path of self-discovery.  Doctors and psychologists can guide us.  However, in availing ourselves of their services we must maintain the belief that while we seek advice and support from “experts,” they can play only the role of “personal consultant.”  We are the only true experts regarding our own bodies and our own minds.

We must trust our hearts enough to proceed along our own paths.  If we trust our own inner knowing, we will find what we need next.

Why should you forgive yourself? What did you ever do to warrant forgiveness? Weren’t you the innocent victim of this crazy affliction?

You have a tremendous amount to forgive yourself for. You have the years of secrecy and hiding you’ve put yourself through. You have the fun you’ve missed out on. You have the endless hours of berating yourself for continuing a behavior which you truly saw as repulsive, and the list goes on.

How long will you continue to feel your guilt and shame for not being perfect?

How long will you mentally beat yourself over the head for not being able to stop your compulsion or addiction as others think you should?

Most of the time you believed the notion that if you were just normal, you would be able to stop this “ridiculous, self-abusive” behavior.  To continue in your personal process of healing you need to first forgive yourself.

Toxic Belief:

I’m a bad person if I can’t or don’t forgive. So I must force myself to do it, which doesn’t feel right and never works. I must conclude that forgiveness is a big load of b.s.

Pull-Free, At Last! Antidote

I can easily achieve Real Forgiveness: a naturally occurring process that comes about by fully honoring (not necessarily acting on, but accepting) my feelings.

There are many books that I recommend you read on your road to recovery. They all have the same crucial message (and probably many more) in common. And that is, “You must be able to imagine yourself to be in the place where you wish to end up.” In this case, you must be able to see yourself beyond hairpulling in order to heal it. I will emphatically state that one more time. To heal, you must be able to see yourself permanently free of pulling out your hair!

The only place you can find your own troublesome perspectives and beliefs is inside of you.

Connect inside to your feelings.

While you may be connecting with feelings about what others have done to you in the past, never forget that it’s not about what REALLY happened; it’s about YOUR PERCEPTION of what happened, what you began to believe because of it and how you chose to ACT based on that belief.