My Trichotillomania Tribe » Unfinished Feelings

Do I Deserve Forgiveness?

Abby — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:00:26 +0000

Why should you forgive yourself? What did you ever do to warrant forgiveness? Weren’t you the innocent victim of this crazy affliction?

You have a tremendous amount to forgive yourself for. You have the years of secrecy and hiding you’ve put yourself through. You have the fun you’ve missed out on. You have the endless hours of berating yourself for continuing a behavior which you truly saw as repulsive, and the list goes on.

Forgiving Myself

Abby — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 17:59:43 +0000

How long will you continue to feel your guilt and shame for not being perfect?

How long will you mentally beat yourself over the head for not being able to stop your compulsion or addiction as others think you should?

Most of the time you believed the notion that if you were just normal, you would be able to stop this “ridiculous, self-abusive” behavior. To continue in your personal process of healing you need to first forgive yourself.

Forcing Forgiveness

Abby — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:58:32 +0000

Toxic Belief:

I’m a bad person if I can’t or don’t forgive. So I must force myself to do it, which doesn’t feel right and never works. I must conclude that forgiveness is a big load of b.s.

Pull-Free, At Last! Antidote

I can easily achieve Real Forgiveness: a naturally occurring process that comes about by fully honoring (not necessarily acting on, but accepting) my feelings.

Stop Looking Outside Of You!

Abby — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:56:17 +0000

The only place you can find your own troublesome perspectives and beliefs is inside of you.

Connect inside to your feelings.

While you may be connecting with feelings about what others have done to you in the past, never forget that it’s not about what REALLY happened; it’s about YOUR PERCEPTION of what happened, what you began to believe because of it and how you chose to ACT based on that belief.

Expression Of Anger

Abby — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:49:58 +0000

Because you’ve been taught to contain your anger, you’re unaware that what you are holding in so tightly is the cause of much of your emotional and physical distress.

Most hair pullers have no role models for seeing and honoring the appropriate expression of this superbly powerful and productive emotion. Appropriate release of long repressed anger is the key to accessing your personal power and to improving your self-esteem.

Trich Sufferers Often Deny Their True Emotions

Abby — Wed, 06 May 2009 01:06:45 +0000

Many children with trichotillomania have learned to withhold their brilliance and deny their feelings. But feelings don’t just go away. Unfinished feelings stay inside waiting for eventual release. They return at inconvenient times and create a lot of problems later in life, particularly in relationships. One can only hold so many of them inside without creating more and more problems in your life.

Your hair pulling has helped you to cope with them.